A Writer's Journal

Saturday, Jan. 16
Middle of work, 7:30 p.m.: I futzed around all day building up enough steam to write, and now, 800 and some words later, I has writ. I love coffee shops at night. Funny how I came in feeling as if I need a week off, and now I have lots of energy. Okay, caffeine, but still, lol. I want to think it’s the writing. ::Dives back in to see if there’s more where that came from.:: Later: So I looked at my page count and thought, holy cow, 150 pages already? Then I remmber I was writing in 14 point type. Well, holy calf, 115 pp. is pretty good, too. G’night.

Monday, Jan. 18
Before work: I think I’m not ready to write what wants to be written. We’ll see who wins this one.
Later: It won, but I’m still shaking my finger at it, and saying, “Do you really think this is such a good idea?” It feels like 1,300+ words of loosey-goosey first draft that’s missing all the good stuff. Oh. It’s a first draft. Right. Slaps self. P.S.–did I happen to mention my editor loves it? Cartwheels! It’s a book, or will be in a few months.

Tuesday, Jan. 19
Before work: I have no idea what I’m going to work on today. Call 911 MUSE.

Robert B. Parker, RIP. He sure brought a lot of readers a lot of pleasure. One of his books, Looking for Rachel Wallace, was important to me. It was the first time I’d ever seen a male author let a female character banter as an equal with a man. I was thrilled! I may have cried. That was 1987. I should read it again and see how it seems now. I never met him, or I’d have thanked him in person.

After work: Okay, now I know what I’m doing for the rest of the week. I think. Filling in the gaps in the rough draft scenes I’ve been writing.

Wednesday, Jan. 20
My day: reviewing second pass page proofs on The Scent of Rain and Lightning. Found a few more things. Better now than never.

Friday, Jan. 22
Life has intervened for a while, but I’m back at Starbucks tonight, doing some rewriting and filling in gaps. Two things of note–A physical description very thoughtfully provided me with an apt simile a little further into the scene. And–my pov character is dismayed by something, and I’m not entirely sure why it has filled him with such a deep sense of unease. Poor baby. I hope he lets me know.

Saturday, Jan. 23
Mid-work: “Filling in” is tricky. I get tempted to add details nobody needs to read. I write it, then delete a lot of it. Feeling my way through chapters that are already written. Carefully. Like treading on slippery flagstones across a marsh in the rain. No unnecessary steps, stay on the track, avoid slippage and …the quicksand of self-indulgence. When I finish, I’ll be ready to move on.

Saturday, Jan. 2
Before work: Now I know that the blank space between chapters 6 & 8 begins with a boy reading an obit. It needs to be short–because reading a long one would be boring–and now I know how and why it can be brief. Eager to get going. Have to start earlier today, so I can catch the KU bball game.
After work: barely got 300 words out. Motor running down. Time to take a couple of days off and let it build up some steam again. Trish MacGregor (T.J. MacGregor) has said that when she’s starting a new book sometimes she purposely lets the desire-to-write build until she practically bursts into her office with eagerness to get going. That’s a great feeling.

Sunday, Jan. 3
Make it stop snowing.
I have successfully not written today. Didn’t know if I could do it, but I did it. I’m going to not write tomorrow, too.

Tuesday, Jan. 5
I’m going back to work today after my “weekend.” Question to ponder as I do: what is the purpose of this next scene? I know who’s in it, I think I know where he is, and I know some of his thoughts. But I don’t yet know how the scene will advance the story and reveal more of his character. ::rubs hands together in happy anticipation of finding out::
After work: Happiness is a crappy first draft of a new scene.

Wednesday, Jan. 6
Before work: In yesterday’s first draft, there’s a character who seems too prominent for a bit player. This morning it hit me who she really is, and why. So I’ll be working with that today. Also, figuring out how to let a character get what he’s after without tipping readers to what he’s really doing. Reminder to myself: you don’t have to perfect it, just progress it.
After work: Wrote only 300 words, deleted all of them. The world is better for it. Interrupted by stuff to do for Scent. Yikes, a copyeditor caught a character saying he drove somewhere and then on the next page saying he walked there. I clutch my throat. Arrgh.

Thursday, Jan. 7
Chapter 1: Shovel the deck. Chapter 2: Shovel the front walk. Chapter 3: Shovel half of the driveway. This is not an engrossing storyline, and the only twists are in my back, but I feel there is character development, so I’ll keep at it until the end.
After work: Wait. There was work? I don’t think so. There was shoveling, there was too much fun on the internet, but there wasn’t work. ::looks around to see if she can find any:: Nope. I thought about doing some, though.

Friday, Jan. 8
Before work: Well, this is embarrassing. I didn’t write a “before work” post because I didn’t know if I could actually get myself to settle down to work. Now, 500 words later it appears I can. Is it too late to say that my plan for today is to give up on one chapter for now and jump ahead to another one? If I don’t do that, I’ll stay stuck. Something unnerving is happening. More later.
After work: 2,000 words later, I guess I got some work done. The unnerving part is that this heroine is stealing my life. She may turn out to be closer to “me” than any of my characters has ever been. I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I’m gonna let it be whatever it is.

Sunday & Monday, Dec. 6-7
(Getting ready to go visit Trish & Rob MacGregor in Florida)
Sue Grafton: “A good idea is like a little engine cranking out more ideas.”

Tuesday, Dec. 8, Florida
Took a shower with a lizard last night. One of those little green Florida guys. I think he liked the sudden rain squall. I thought, “Darn, if this had happened when I was writing my Florida series, I’d have given him to Marie Lightfoot. She could have used a pet.”
Got help from a dream last night: In the dream I said to the coach of the Denver Broncos: “Bad Day at Black Rock?” (It wasn’t their real-life coach.) In the dream, they were losing and he was about to be fired. A process of associations led me to a revelation about my protagonist: she hasn’t admitted to herself that her dead boyfriend was a loser.
Comment on facebook: Denise Swanson Stybr–If I’m stuck, I always think of the plot point before I go to sleep, and 90% of the time wake up with the answer. Although, I have to admit a sports figure has never featured in my dreams.

Wednesday-Monday, Dec. 9-14, Florida
Apparently I came down here needing a lot of sleep, the company of close friends, and great food. Finally woke up long enough to finish corrections to page proofs on Scent of Rain and Lightning. No work on the new one. I’m okay with that. It’s been a creative time for me anyway, because we did daily trance meditations, ala Felicitas Goodman’s work.

Tuesday-Sunday, Dec. 15-20
Taking a while to work back up to working.

Monday, Dec. 21
I sat down to work on the new book for the first time since Florida, and wtf?? The first chapter that I thought was perfect? There’s zero conflict/tension in it. It has action, surprise, a turning point, the 5 senses, all that good stuff. . .and no tension. Wow. Well, it certainly is valuable to have to set a manuscript aside for a while, lol. I *think* I know how to fix it.

Tuesday, Dec. 22
Before work: Just wanna work today, that’s all.
After work: Who knew that finding the tension in a scene might reveal more about the plot? Ha.

Wednesday, Dec. 23
Before work: Kind of thrilled about the rewrites of yesterday. Had a spooky coincidence yesterday–writing the words “lifting hands in surrender,” just as a Dido song shuffled into my ears, with the lyric, “I will not put my hands up in surrender.” Bringing in a new character today. Must lift him out of cliche where he dwells,sad to say, at the present time.
After work: Spooky story #2 for the week. Went to Starbucks to think about a character who needed to come to life. As I worked, a male voice interrupted to ask what I was doing. I looked up and discovered that my character had sat down next to me! The man was exactly right in appearance, age, attitude. Now he lives and breathes. I couldn’t believe it. Well, yes, I could, actually.

Thursday, Dec. 24
Before work: Christmas eve. Sleet/snow on its way. Do I venture out to write?

Friday, December 25, 2009
The answers to yesterday’s question was no. No working today, either.

Saturday, Nov. 21, 2009
Copyedits are finished for The Scent of Rain and Lightning. I’ll be getting the page proofs soonish. Don’t tell my publisher that I still have a few little things I want to change. An obsessive’s work is never done.
Jury duty last week took me away from working on the proposal/chapters of the next Kansas book, which I’m calling (at least for now) If Ever I Would Leave You. I WILL get back into it today. Yes, I will. Saying it in public makes it come true, right?

Sunday, Nov. 22
So I almost didn’t write yesterday, but I HAD to because I said here that I would, lol. I worked on Chapter 2. I inserted a little scene with my “victim,” and then wondered why I put it there. Then I realized–oh wow, it shows how he uses his humor and charm to avoid talking about touchy issues. My unconscious is so much smarter than I am.
After work:
I wrote a first chapter last month. Then I wrote a totally different first chapter from the pov of another character. Today I went back and put the first one back in at the front and did some rewriting. Am happy now. Decided not to give the “victim” his own pov scenes, in order to keep him more of a puzzle to the reader. Pats self on back for day’s work.

Monday, Nov. 23
Before work:
Writing goal for today, aka “Giving the universe a chance to laugh at me,” heh.: This early draft of Chapter 2 is a mess. Annie Lamott says all first drafts are crap, and I always prove her point. So today I’m diving in to: a.) see if it’s really two separate chapters; b.) make sure it has both inner and outer “tension”; c.) get to know the characters better. It introduces several of them. A lot to do. I’m eager. Put me in, Coach!
After work:
The universe got its chuckle. I worked on Chapter 1 again.
It’s useful to look at what’s happening in a scene through the eyes and feelings of a non-pov character, even though I may not actually use any of it from that character’s pov. Doing that today in Chapter 2 sent me back to Chapter 1 to write some more in it.
One of the best things about writing in multiple points of view is getting to describe characters through each others’ eyes. It’s really hard in a single point of view book to describe the protagonist without resorting to the clichés of reflections in mirrors, windows, or water.

Tuesday, Nov. 24
Before work:
Okay universe, here’s what I haha plan haha to write today: last scene in chapter 1, start juggling chapter 2.
I think/hope readers will care about sticking around to find out the answers to the following questions raised in Chapter 1 now: What happened to Marcie? What’s the story of the deaf boy? Why is the farm failing? Will there be an earthquake or mine collapse? Who is the dead guy and how does Rex know him and how did he get dead? What’s Rex doing there and why isn’t he sheriff any more? (Readers of “Virgin” will have a clue already.)
Okay, Nancy, now go forth and multiply. . .pages.
After work:
A character almost made me cry today. That doesn’t usually happen until later in a book. More questions raised for the readers, to pique their interest. More foreshadowing, to pique mine, since I never know for sure what it portends until I get there. Still haven’t touched Chapter 2. Took a long time to rev up today. Tired.

Wednesday, Nov. 25
Before work:
I was standing in the shower last night when I realized I have no “sense of taste” in the first chapter. Writers who’ve seen me teach know I am a BEAR about planting a reader’s feet on the ground of a fictional world by the use of the 5 senses.
Today, page proofs for “Scent” will arrive on front stoop. Not ready to stop flow of this new one to work on them yet. Plan to work some on Chapter 2, but first I need to put a stick of beef jerkey in Chapter 1 and connect a couple of dots that also occurred to me in the shower last night.
After work: Made crappy first-draft additions to chapter 1 and worked on them until they don’t feel so crappy anymore. NOW I’m ready to move on. I even opened Chapter 2 and made one tiny change. The more things change, the more they do NOT remain the same.

Thanksgiving Day, Nov. 26
Before work:
Turkey gravy. Two of my favorite words, served hot over the words mashed potatoes. After that: Starbucks, if it’s open, and chapter 2.
After “work”:
Guess who over-estimated her ability to cook TDay dinner and then write? Uh huh.

Friday, Nov. 27
Before work:
CAN’T WAIT to dig into Chapter 2. I love that feeling. It can seem kind of elusive and rare sometimes. But not today!

Question from Judy Gehm:

Did you set up a structure beforehand or do you just make it up the as you write–how free are you to write outside your imagined structure…

Answer from me:

Both, Judy. I’ve been thinking of this story for a few months now, so a plot of sorts has established itself, but not necessarily a real story-telling structure yet. I’m still playing with that, although I am 90% sure there will be only 3 points of view this time. So that’s a bit of structure. Also. . .it’s early days in the book, so I’m still free to do anything. Eventually that will narrow down considerably–as characters get “set in their ways” and as cause begets effect. It will never disappear entirely. I’ll still be making it up as I go, right to the last page.

After work:
Successfully achieved full entrance into Chapter 2 again! Made my way into the deeper recesses and found what appears to be life. Life forms, at any rate. Will investigate further tomorrow. (Bonus: I hate the scent of Lily Whites and I finally got to say so in print.) Giddy with relief. Closing the hatch now.